Imperfection

Okay. Confession time.

In case there are any of you out there who have a disillusioned view of me and my parenting - I now will confess how imperfect I am.

*(If you are easily grossed out or have a sensitive gag reflex, please stop reading now)*

Here's the story. Tyson gave Zac a bowl of cereal for breakfast this morning and then went to take a shower. I was in bed for most of this. Tyson went to clean Zac up and help him down from the table.
I came by later during my normal cleaning routine. The table needed cleaning after breakfast, so I sprayed it down and washed it. Next, I decided that since some of that sticky cereal was on the seat of the booster seat (which Eden usually uses, not Zac), I would take it to the kitchen and dismantle it and clean it out well. (I really do this every once in a while - not often enough - keep reading.)
When I removed that blue part from that white part, I was met with many crumbs and bits of spaghetti noodles etc. I was expecting that. What I did NOT expect was to see movement within the crumbs. Yes, movement. Upon closer look I see that the movement was...wait for it... some sort of worm. I'm guessing it was a maggot. Sick.
I hurriedly cleaned said booster - very well. Then I realized that I could have taken a picture of the grossness to blog about it. Then a little voice inside my head warned me that there are some out there who would see this as some sort of child abuse and call CPS. And you would have picture proof.
Now you know the truth. I am not perfect. Now go about your day, no comments necessary.

Breathe your life.
amy

September....WHAT?!?! (and the baby)

I know, I know. It has been FAR too long since you all have heard from me. Well, I took a bit of a hiatus - about two months of a hiatus. As you will read over the next couple of weeks (hopefully) it was a much needed break. Here is why:

• Birthing a baby is hard
• Malea had a birthday
• Hannah had a birthday
• planning a school year is time consuming
• Birthing a baby is hard
• not sleeping through the night for 8 weeks is hard
• I love summer
• We've been BBQ-ing instead of blogging
• and, you guessed, birthing a baby is hard

So, tonight, I will tell you about the birth of Jubilee Amira Lash. We'll get to the rest of it later.



This is Jubilee about a month or so before the due date. I wish I had a just-before-birth photo, but I don't.





It all started (well not ALL - we won't go into the ALL of it) on July 5th at about 7am. Stuff started happening. I won't go into details about this part as I have mixed company reading my blog. Tyson was already at church, so I called and told him that "stuff" was happening. Of course, at this point, he has no plans to get someone else to preach as these baby things take time.

I started having contractions as I am getting the kids and myself ready for church. I'm thinking that I'll just labor through service, no problem. Better than being at home, bored - right? We arrived at church, I had one good contraction, then everything stopped. It was like Jubilee knew that Dad needed to get through the service before her arrival.

Church finished and we went home. I had a couple more good contractions. Actually at this point they were coming about every 10 minutes. Then Dad had to leave for a softball game (seriously). So all signs of baby coming stopped. Again. I called my mom anyway so she could be on her way up from Oregon. Plus, she had Malea's new ITouch that Malea wanted bad.

Tyson got home and for some reason this part is kind of fuzzy two months later. Contractions started up again, but they were pretty inconsistent. Labor with Luke was rather inconsistent as well, so I knew this wasn't too abnormal...for me.

Mom got here. I am mostly just walking around the house, trying to stay busy. We get the kids all in bed except for Malea and Hannah who want to stay up for the party. And I say "party" quite loosely, you will understand why in a moment.

Contractions really start up nicely and I called my amazing midwife at about 10:15. She wants to know if I want her to come at this point. I REALLY don't know! She is the professional. I tell her yes. Midwife arrives and checks me. I'm only dilated to a 5. Dang. I thought I was much further along. I labor and walk and stop and have a painful contraction. Repeat. Repeat....for about another hour or so. Mom, midwife, and hubby are all sleeping on and off at this point. Malea and Hannah go to bed, they are tired and this is taking too long.

Shortly after midnight (July 6th!) midwife checks me again and I'm at 7 centimeters dilated. We choose to have her break my water. I mean, really, let's get the show on the road.

Wow. Now everything is intensely painful and contractions are one on top of another and I can't always see straight and I'm wondering what's taking so dang long and I don't want anyone to touch me and it really really hurts and I'm wondering why I didn't do this in a hospital with an epidural and I'm wondering why I'm doing this in the first place and I want to cry I'm in so much pain. You get the picture, right? I try pushing at some point, but it doesn't do any good. I labored on the chair and then on the toilet. For some reason the toilet was a bit better. When I say "better" I mean it VERY loosely.

My midwife was so great during this - and my mom and Tyson, too. They all pretty much left me alone and tried not to even look at me. I appreciate that. There was nothing they could do to make it better. Midwife checked Jubilee's heart rate periodically. All is well. Except this intense pain, of course.

It's finally time to push. My right leg will not do what I tell it to do. It is mostly stiff. It needs to not be stiff. It needs to move to the side. I literally had to will my right leg to move to the side. I need to get this baby out of my body. So, I push and push and her head comes out. Midwife gets a bit concerned because her shoulders are a bit stuck. I push her out anyway.



Don't get grossed out by the blood. It's really very minimal. And, yes, I birthed this beauty at home. In my bed. The IV is for fluids. I didn't have an IV with Zac. I'm glad I did this time.

Jubilee Amira was born at 3:22am on July 6th weighing in at 9lbs 14oz. and was 22inches tall.




That wet spot under my mouth is not drool. It's sweat. That was the most sweaty experience of my life. My shins were sweating. I know, gross.

On another note, isn't that a beautiful miracle of a baby? I've done this 7 times now and it is still completely amazing to me.




We woke only Malea to see Jubilee right after she was born. I thought my oldest should get first dibs on her new baby sister.

Incidentally, that towel was very warm. My mom kept blankets and towels going in the dryer and we rotated them on Jubilee and me. That was heaven!



Okay, last shot for now. Here's me and a couple other kids about 7am. They were all amazed to wake up to a new baby! They didn't hear any of it and never even saw the midwife! At this point, I'm working off of about 20 minutes of sleep in a 24 hour period. Not bad.

The only person I called to tell the news was my sweet dad. He and his wife came up the next day from Oregon to see us.


So, that's it! I still remember the event in fairly vivid detail. She is an amazing human. I love her. I am thrilled to see what incredible things she does with her life.

Thank you, Father, for a textbook labor and delivery, and for a healthy baby girl.

Breathe your life,
amy